Taking power out of candy: how to make candy no big deal.

One of the most common questions I hear from parents is: “How do I stop candy from being such a big deal for my kids (or myself)?”

It’s a great question, because candy often ends up with way more power than it deserves.

We tend to think that eliminating or strictly restricting candy is the answer. But research and lived experience tell us this often backfires. When a food is off-limits or highly restricted, it becomes more desirable. The brain says: “I have to get it now while I can!”

Instead of banning candy or making it a reward to be “earned,” I encourage families to work on building a neutralrelationship with it.

Yes, candy is different nutritionally from broccoli or chicken. But morally? It’s just food. All foods have different nutrients, but none have moral value. When we remove the good or bad labels, we also remove the shame and guilt that can follow eating them.

So how do you actually do this?

One key strategy is to have candy consistently available at home. This might sound scary at first! But here’s why it works:

When your brain knows candy is always around, there's no urgency to eat it all at once. There's no “last chance” mindset. Over time, the scarcity mindset fades.

You can also use your role as the parent to set structure without moralizing. For example:

-Include candy with a meal or snack.
-Serve it on the dinner plate alongside everything else.
-Avoid using it as a bribe or reward.

At first, yes—your kids may go straight for the candy. That’s normal! But over time, something amazing tends to happen:

They learn that all foods are on the same playing field. Candy doesn’t feel special or forbidden. They eat it, and they also eat their meal.

By making candy just food, you help your kids and yourself build trust with eating. You take away the power struggles, the guilt, the shame, and the obsession.

Because at the end of the day, that’s the goal: All foods can fit. All foods can be neutral.

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